


What's A Soulmate?

by AnimeFan1242



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Angst and Feels, Character's Name Spelled as Hanji, Color Blindness, Colors, Ereri Angst Weekend 2018, Green Eyes, Humanity's Strongest, I'm Sorry, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Mild Language, POV Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Possible Character Death, Rated for Levi's Language (Shingeki no Kyojin), Sad Ending, Soulmates, Suicide Notes, Titan War, Why Did I Write This?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-16
Updated: 2018-12-16
Packaged: 2019-09-15 19:41:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16939470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnimeFan1242/pseuds/AnimeFan1242
Summary: All he saw was black and white. That was of course until a certain green-eyed boy came into his life.(Soulmate AU where all you see is black and white until you meet your soulmate.)DISCLAMER: This fanfiction is for entertainment, non-profit purposes only. I do not claim ownership of any canon characters or the world that this is set in.





	What's A Soulmate?

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing a story with characters that aren't mine.. Also my first time writing a soulmate AU, so I apologize if this is kinda sucky. :) This story doesn't really follow the actual storyline, so if you're caught up on the ANIME (I know a ton of people don't read the manga, so I don't think I added in any manga spoilers) then everything should be alright. 
> 
> The audio "What's A Soulmate" is what gave me the inspiration to write this. I'd highly suggest listening to it before reading (or while.) But if you don't, it doesn't really matter, the story will make sense nonetheless.
> 
>  
> 
> [What's A Soulmate](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TSU8Zs0VvmI)
> 
>  
> 
> [Instrumental Only](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WCIB2SNiyRs)

**What's a soulmate?**

 

"I remember the day I met him. The day everything as I knew it just... changed. It was as if I had been blind before him, and in a way, I guess I was. The explosion of color that I saw when my eyes met his was... Overwhelming. The shades of grey that had surrounded me my whole life had morphed into a multitude of colors. Some bright, some dark,  some dull, some vibrant. It was as if the world around me was reborn, and I didn't care. My eyes hadn't left his since they first laid on him. I was completely mesmerized by him, and for a second, I swear I forgot how to breathe. I was entirely new to colors, so I couldn't quite figure out what color his eyes were. If I were to describe what I felt when I looked in his eyes, I'd say that, oddly enough, they made me feel safe. They made me feel lighter on my feet than I did with 3DMG gear on. I now know that they were an Emerald-like green, and I can say, without hesitation, that they were, and still are, the most beautiful color I have ever seen. I had found my soulmate, and nothing would ever be the same."

 

**It's a...Well, it's like a best friend, but more.**

 

"That day, when we met, I knew before we even said a single word to each other, that my life had changed drastically. It had changed for better or for worse. From that day forward, I would never feel alone. From that day forward, I would always know that he was there, even if he wasn't right next to me. The vibrant colors that now filled my world would be a constant reminder that he was there, and he was mine. To say we grew close fast is an understatement. Although it took us over a minute to utter a single word when we met, the bond between us took little to no time to form, further proving to the both of us that we truly were meant to be. After that first day, we spent every minute we could together. We had found time through all of the paperwork, training, and even expeditions to get as close to the other as physically possible. Spending what little time we had learning anything we could about the other. You see, he was like a drug to me. He was addicting, and I could never get enough of him. It took less than a week for me to realize that he wasn't just my soulmate, he was my everything. He was my other half, my heart, my soul, my best friend, my lover, _my soulmate._ He was mine, and I could never wish for anything more."

 

**It's the one person in the world who knows you better than anyone else.**

 

"When I was with him, I felt a way I had never felt before. He made me feel young again. I was happy, ecstatic even, and in this Titan infested shit-hole, being truly happy is a blessing. He didn't just make me feel happy though, he made me feel strong. With him, I could slay a dozen Titans and keep on going, with him, I was an unstoppable force. No..   _We_ were an unstoppable force. He was the one person in the world who truly made me feel. He made me feel all sorts of things. Happy, _loved_ , strong, alive... _Alive._ He made me feel undeniably alive, and I'd be lying if I said it didn't scare the shit out of me. To think that one person, _one_ , could change the way I felt in such a way, could change me in such a way. To think that one person could do so much in so little time was completely and utterly unbelievable... And yet, it happened. We had both changed each other, and whether or not either of us knew it at the time is still a mystery to me. The way we changed was, well, 'fascinating' as said by Hanji themselves. With just a glance, we would know exactly what the other had wanted to say. We were in sync, we understood each other in a way I didn't think possible, and I guess it really was... Fascinating."

 

**It's someone who makes you a better person.**

 

"The added color to my originally bland world was just a bonus. To be honest, I would have been completely content as long as I had him, even if it meant that the world around me would stay grey. I would be lost without him, and I knew it was selfish, but I vowed to myself that I would _never_ let him go... At least not without a fight. When I was with him, everything was, for lack of a better word, good, about as good as he was. Sure, his temper was something else, but the purity that I could see in him had begun to engulf me. He had made me see things different, literally of course if the colors bouncing off every corner meant anything. He made me see that the walls weren't just prison, they were a fighting chance. A fighting chance for humanity against the Titans. Run-down buildings, childbirth, and even mud were viewed in a different light in my eyes when I was with him. The things that I had found ugly before suddenly seemed very, very, beautiful. He made me think about how rare and beautiful it truly is that we actually _exist._ The way he changed me, I can't even begin to put to words, all I know is, he made me a better person. He's made me who I am today, and I am forever grateful to him."

 

**Actually, they don't make you a better person** ,

 

"In a way, I guess you could say we changed one another, even if neither of us noticed it at first. We had slowly started to rub off on each other, whether we liked it or not. His vocabulary had expanded, taking in the vulgar words that I often used, and my walls had begun to crumble, letting others see more of the me that he got to see behind closed doors. I had begun to smile more, and he had learned how to control some of his emotions. Or at least, he had tried. In all honesty, I think we all knew that he would never be able to control them when it came to bickering with Jean. When it came to our emotions, we were both practically overflowing with them. Pouring love and appreciation, hope and happiness into the others cup of life, hoping that they'd get the message, hoping that the other would _feel_ just how much they meant to you, hoping that they would see just how much you were willing to give for them, willing to give up for them. Filling their cup up was a priority, for if their cup was full, you knew that they were happy, and honestly, that's all that mattered anyway. When it came to him, I was willing to give up anything and everything, and as crazy as it sounds, I know that he was willing to do the same."

 

**You do that yourself... Because they inspire you.**

 

"If I hadn't of met him, I'm not sure if I would still be here today. He made me want to keep fighting, even when my limbs would sting and ache, begging me to stop, begging me to just stay down and give up. He was the constant voice in the back of my head just telling me to _fight,_ to keep both feet planted on the ground until I couldn't anymore. He was the voice telling me to never give up, even if the situation wasn't looking too bright. Even if the expedition had taken a turn for the worse, his voice was a constant reminder that I couldn't give up, that I had to fight because it wasn't just me I was fighting for. I was fighting for him too. I was fighting for him, and our life outside of these god-forsaken walls when the war was over. I was fighting for our friends and family, and the family we would have when everything was over. I was fighting for the thousands of people who lived inside the walls, I was fighting for the dream that one day, one day soon, humanity wouldn't have to hide behind walls anymore. He was the constant reminder that there really w _as_ something worth fighting for, not just a fading hope that we would find some sort of groundbreaking Titan information beyond the walls that would help humanity win the war. He was real, he was my hope, and I was never, ever, letting that hope go."

 

**A soulmate is someone who you can carry with you forever.**

 

"I felt as if I had waited a hundred years to meet him; the time before him wasn't even worth thinking about anymore. The days turned into weeks, and the weeks turned into months. Everything went by in a blur when it came to him and me, and I honestly couldn't care one bit. We were both happy, both content, and there was nothing in the world that could change the way we felt. No Titan, person, or object could get in our way now. We were in love, and if you couldn't see that when you looked at us, then you must've been blind. We were a force of nature, loving each other like a hurricane; strong and beautiful, yet terrifying. I had fallen, fallen so deeply in love that it scared me. We had only known each other for a few months, but that was enough for me. I wanted him, I wanted him in every way possible. I wanted to scream out to the world that he was mine, and mine alone. I wanted him in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish until death dared to tear us apart. I would go to the end of the world for him, and I wanted him to know it. So I asked him, I asked him to be mine, and for some reason, he said I do. Even knowing my faults, and trust me, there are plenty, even knowing the ghosts that haunt me and my obsessive-like-tendencies, he stayed with me, to listen, to hold, and to love me. My past wasn't important when it came to him and me. We were each others present and future. We were each others forever, and we wouldn't have it any other way."

 

**It's the one person who knew you and accepted you...**

 

"I'm not going to say that loving me was easy, I know damn well it's not. When we were together it wasn't all just smooth sailing. We had our ups and downs, and they weren't always trouble-free. The ups, if I were to explain them, felt like an ecstasy high. We'd both feel so _happy_ , so _good_ that it became difficult to describe. We couldn't think clearly anymore, there was nobody else but me and him, him and me, and the beautiful colors surrounding us. There was no clear line distinguishing us from the rest of the world. We simply felt so goddamn, fucking, good. If the ups were like an ecstasy high, then the downs were a bad, bad, trip. The vivid reds and blues were dulled, the birds chirps came out as a melancholic hum. Nothing felt right when we had a falling out. It felt as if I had forgotten who I was. It doesn't sound so bad when I say it, but just... Think about it. Imagine waking up and not knowing who you were. Imagine the terror as you can't explain _who_ you were. You knew your name, your story, but you couldn't figure out what it meant. Who exactly _is_ Levi Ackerman? Who the Hell was he without his one true love? Without Eren? Humanitys Strongest? A thug from the underground? Or just a boy waiting to be pulled back into the light..? The world didn't seem to spin right when I wasn't with him, and I knew that when we had our first fight, that I never ( _never_ ) wanted to experience that again. I would fight tooth and nail for him, and when I finally reached him, I was never letting him go again. Though we knew each other better than most, mistakes did happen, and they happened often. In the end, we would always find our way back to one another, because that was love, wasn't it?"

 

**Believed in you before anyone else did or when no one else would.**

 

"Sometimes, the amount of trust I saw in his emerald eyes were intense. The amount of trust directed at me, knowing that I would do whatever I could to lower the death rate from going outside the walls, was mind-boggling. The fact that he believed in me when I wasn't even sure if I believed in myself filled my chest with hope. If he believed in me, I could do it, I could do anything. I could single-handedly end the war as long as he kept on looking at me the way he did. Eyes filled with motivation, love, _trust._ He was my anchor, always keeping me grounded and calm when everything that could possibly go wrong went wrong. The nickname 'Humanitys Strongest' paled in comparison to how strong he truly made me feel. When he was around, I felt.. Euphoric, I felt as if I was six feet tall, felt as if I could fly without 3DMG gear on. He completed me, put together the long lost pieces of the puzzle that was 'Levi Ackerman'. He was truly a godsend. If I ever started to spiral down, ever started to doubt myself or started to give up, he would always be there to pick me back up, him and his breathtaking green eyes. I can't even begin to count how many times he's saved me. From Titan, foe, or just my own twisted mind, he would come to the rescue. He would always come for me, just like how I would always come for him. No matter what we were in it together... Until death do us part."

 

**And no matter what happens you will always love them.**

 

"We went through life one foot in front of the other, walking at a steady pace, taking in everything around us as it was given, until we were both ready to take off in a full sprint. Of course, when that sprint finally came around, I don't think either of us were ready. Other shifters and knowledge about the walls came barreling our way. The Titans, the shifters, the war that had been being fought for countless years, had finally begun to make sense. The pieces of a seemingly never-ending puzzle had started to come together, and before I knew it, we were on our way to the basement. Eren's basement. The last pieces of information that we needed seemed to all circle around Eren and whatever was in Shiganisha. There were risks involved when going to Wall Maria, of course, there were. Yet, knowing so, we had all gone anyways. It had started out so good. Quiet, but good nonetheless. Everything had happened so fast. Reiner and Bertholdt, Erwin, and eventually, the Beast Titan. Everything had started spiraling out of control, and before I had time to react, Eren was gone. It all happened so, fast... Too fast. The last thing I had seen was fear plastered across his face before the sickening sound of bone snapping filled the air. He had been devoured, eaten by the Armored Titan, by Reiner, leaving nothing but a left arm with a wedding band on one of the digits. My body had moved on its own after Eren was no more. Everything was a blur, and without thinking about myself, my wellbeing, I had hurled into the titan who had taken my everything and had begun slicing away at him. He had already been weakened to my advantage, which made what I was about to do much easier. The cuts came too fast for any armor to form or regenerate, and eventually, he was dead, body emitting hot vapor, slowly burning away at my skin. When it was all done, I fell to the ground in agony. I would never be able to feel the warmth of Erens skin, never be able to hear the soft I love you's hummed against my skin in the comfort of our bed, never be able to look into those captivating emerald green eyes. I guess I didn't _really_ know what home was until it was forcefully ripped from my grasp. Eren was my home, and I'd never be able to get him back. I sat there for who knows how long, and when I had looked up, everything was over. The wounded were being placed on the remaining carriages, and everybody was preparing to head back home. In the end, we never did find out what was in the basement, nonetheless, the mission was a success. The war was now over, but at what cost?"

 

**Nothing can ever change that.**

 

When we were together we weren't 'Humanity's Last Hope' or 'Humanity's Strongest' we were simply Eren and Levi, Levi and Eren. When we were together, nothing could bring us down. The world was ablaze, completely engulfed by reds and blues, greens and yellows. The magnitude of colors were unimaginable, nearly impossible to explain with words. When our fingertips trailed across each other's bare skin in a fiery passion, when our vision was clouded in an explosive rage, red was the color that surfaced. When his eyes would land on me, filled with hospitality, loyalty, love, and trust in the quiet of our bedroom, when the horses would leave the walls and my hair would blow through the air depicting freedom, the color blue is what would come to mind. When his laugh would vibrate in the air around us, when the warmth of sunlight would hit our skin whilst we lay outside in the grass, yellow was the color that would show. When I was embraced, pressed close into his chest, when we lazed in our bed for the day, not caring about the world around us, green was the color that was displayed.  When I would stay up at night, staring at the ceiling, numb, when the weight pressing down on my chest became too much and took the breath from my lungs when my limbs would shake and tremble, when the air felt dry, cold, uncomforting, grey was all that I saw. It was slow at first, I hardly even noticed the change before grey was the only color that filled my world. Yet again, the earth was devoid of color. I had lost my soulmate and thus, I had lost all coloration. I had lost Eren and thus, I had lost everything. I'm sorry Hanji, for losing the hope that you saw. I'm sorry Erwin, for not being as strong as humanity needed me to be. I'm sorry Mikasa, Armin, Jean, Connie, Sasha, for not being the captain that you needed to guide you. I'm sorry, but I can't do this anymore. Being without him, being _here_ without him, doesn't feel right, and I'm sure it never will. I'm sorry for leaving you all with just this measly note, and I sincerely hope you understand. The war is over, I no longer serve a purpose. I'm not sure I ever truly did serve a purpose without him...

  
I remember the day I lost him. The day everything as I knew it just... changed. It was as if I had gone blind without him, and in a way, I guess I had."

**Author's Note:**

> Ahhhh...
> 
> I noticed there might be some confusion around the end. If you didn't catch on, Levi says that what you, the reader, have been reading this whole time is his 'note', implying that you've been reading his suicide note the whole time. 
> 
> I'm so sorry that you guys had to read this. If you caught up on what I was trying to portray when it came to Eren with the use of past-tense words (ex. was) then congratulations! Hopefully that ending didn't hit you too hard, lol. Anyways, I hope you all enjoyed it!! (Leave a kudo if you did!) Let me know what you thought in the comments. :)
> 
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> Tumblr: [Destielock221b](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/destielock221b)


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